friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
