well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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