The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I pour the whiskey from now on
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
