If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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