Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize