Buhtt sex?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
