When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
