my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
