so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
