i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
