I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
