Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
