Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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