You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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