I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
