I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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