So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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