If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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