And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
