this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize