My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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