So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
