Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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