I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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