Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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