People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
