They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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