Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I've blown a few things in my day
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
