Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
