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and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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