she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
