Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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