Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
