I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
