I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
