How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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