Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
