Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
