It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
