Say something about gay babies.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
