How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
