That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
