Do you still have your period?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
