who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
