I need help removing her.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
