This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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