I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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