Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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