Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she peed on how many people?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
