He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
