If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
