so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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