do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
