I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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