this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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