I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
