question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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