You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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