Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
