Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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