What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
