what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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